Have you ever lain in bed at night and thought to yourself, “Ah, the Earth is rotating correctly on its axis”?
Maybe you have had a really good thyroid day and have been able to accomplish more than usual or actually felt like the old you. It’s those days, the good ones, that we miss and think we’ll never get back.
If you’re like me, you’ve been sick for so long that these good days are something totally new to you.
I remember asking, “And, how do you spell that?”
"My body was going to take a hit and I knew it."
The treatments for all of these began slowly, one step at a time. Slowly, but surely, I began to feel “better." I use this term with reservations because “better” for some may not be what the general population views as “better."
Over time, there are more good days than bad, but considering that normal used to be 365 bad days a year, that’s an improvement, right? I had many of those nights where I would say my prayers and be thankful for that good day, until someone kicked the earth off its axis a few weeks ago.
I had been on a treatment of colloidal silver and aloe vera juice for babesia and intestinal permeability and had learned more about a protein called gluten than I’d ever before had the desire to know.
My body was going to take a hit and I knew it.
Usually the first hit is in my hair; it becomes dry and oily at the same time, loses its glossiness and begins to fall out so much that there’s enough to create a toupee for my husband.
This is ugly and I don’t like it one bit.
It was a Thursday morning, I got in the shower, started washing my hair and WHAM! There it was, a handful of hair. I brushed and saw that there was the beginning of the toupee.
That’s when I felt the swift kick of the Earth off its axis.
I mumbled to myself, “Fantastic, just what I needed to see.”
One thursday night, I’m lying in bed. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears and it is racing. Sleep is an elusive commodity that night. I wake up Friday morning to the still racing heart that is now accompanied by this weird feeling of anxiety. Not just any anxiety, but like something on the inside is clawing its way out. It was the sort of agitation that might have followed a devastating phone call. I go to work scared, exhausted and anxious. What is going on?
This is ugly and I don’t like it one bit.
Lunchtime rolls around and I have to do something. I get up from my desk and go for a walk attempting to relieve some of the anxiety and nervous energy. It isn’t working. In fact, it’s getting worse.
I turn to my fellow ThyroidChange volunteers for help. I sent out a Facebook message and in a short time three responded to my plea.
Their response: “You’re overmedicated and hyperthyroid.”
My thought, “So this is what the dark side of the dark side feels like?” I understood hypothyroidism, I'd struggled with it my whole life. But I had not, until now, understood what it felt like to have the kind of problems that my friends with hyperthyroidism had suffered. Now I get it.
The conversations carried on and I began to calm down. The symptoms were still ravaging me but mentally, I was more stable. My doctor’s office was closed and all I knew to do was stop my T3.
Trying to convince a thyroid patient to stop medication is not pleasant, especially when that patient is you. The arguments that I had with myself were downright mean.
“This medication gives me life and you want me to stop it?”
"…it all boiled down to one word. HEALING!"
I came to an agreement with myself and didn’t stop my meds. I took the capsules apart and lowered my dose, bargaining the whole time until Tuesday came and I realized my method wasn’t working. I finally called the doctor (which, by the way, I recommend highly).
The doctor returned my call and said, “This is good news, you’re healing.”
Stunned, I thought to myself, “Do what? And how’s that spelled?”
She told me all the work we had been doing was allowing my body to heal. She said I should stop my medication for 7-10 days and start back at half doses. If I began to get hypo symptoms, I was to call and get a higher dose as it wasn’t necessary to do blood work. She said that she would see me in August.
Thirty years of misdiagnosis, three years of words I cannot spell, antibiotics that made me sick, the elimination of foods I love, two years on the same dosage of thyroid medication… and it all boiled down to one word.
I don’t even know what to do with that word so I ponder it and am thankful. I have a hard time understanding it because I never thought it would enter my vocabulary, much less pertain to me.
Apparently, I had become hyperthyroid because my thyroid is producing more hormones again. Add the extra production to my regular dosage and I had gotten a thyroid overdose.
What did I learn? I learned that the dark side of the dark side of thyroid disease is terrible. I now have immense respect for people who have Graves’ disease or who are hyperthyroid. My passion for ThyroidChange’s mission of getting proper diagnosis and treatment for all has increased because no one should have to continually live with the feeling that I had for those brief, few days.
What do you do when your 23 ½ degree axis gets off a degree or two? Do you let it beat you or do you create change?
It’s our choice to create CHANGE.